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I feel like I’ve been dis-membered
From the normal club, of life and love
Joining fees of sacrificing work and stuff
Can’t opt out of hidden symptoms
Until the lumps so hard I want to give in
I’m bleeding on the feelings I’ve been left with
Packets and clusters
Sickness you’ve become this happiness crusher
and then I breathe I hope I chill and I’m ready
to be a hands-on mother
All over again sort the kids, fix dinner, smelling the luncheon
then this fucking sickness does a number on me
And guess what I’ve got the shits again,
lucky me Toilet bowl interview, a white abyss of puke
Standing crippled to cook the next meal
Why won’t I heal? 3 days I’m a girl
4 more much evil to endure…
Fancy my week, nested beneath Every day
I wanna be not like this I want to feel ready
Be somebody’s, no burden
No mess to clean, No more handfuls of pills
To make disappear I’m no magician
but 10 in 1 It’s clear my tiny pipe is overdone
And back up it comes
I want to lunge for the nearest hill And scream until the echoes lose their chill
Give me one month to seal a fate Of health, maybe a date
Away from my current state
I need a cure for my broken frame
To wash the stains, pray and heal away Damn, I need a break
That can be fixed I want to untangle my intestines
And massage the gruesome bits
Dodgy pipework like this
Just flow through on the fluidity of my hope
Go and elope elsewhere
Stop infecting my clear spot
On the schedule, no more days off
No food on the menu, let me indulge in a fruit
And go down un-looped
Pain Re-Route until the same
Isn’t so blue

J9e Poetry
Jasmin Peart
13 November 2014
Copyrighted 2014

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6 thoughts on “Severe I Can’t Rest

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